Change is essential for your growth and development as a person. Without change, you are assured of staying just the way you are and doing things just the way you have always done them. For some people, that’s a good thing; they’re happy and fulfilled in their lives. But for many people, the current path they are on lacks meaning and satisfaction and they feel stuck. They want to change, but can’t seem to figure out how to change. Almost anyone you meet these days is seeking ways to improve, become more “evolved” or just simply be a better person.
Deciding what kind of person you wish to aspire to be or what goals you wish to accomplish takes clarity of mind, a willingness to look carefully and honestly at yourself, and the courage and commitment to make changes. To take full responsibility for things which happen to us is a lot to ask. The tendency to look outside for reasons (or excuses) is tempting.
Although there are clearly times when external forces can slow us down or throw us off track, the barriers to self-growth and personal success are generally found within you.
Below are some of the most common barriers to self growth I have noticed in my last 20 years of being a coach:
- Negative Self Talk This is probably the single most significant barrier to personal development for the majority of people. It’s time to say ‘Cancel- Cancel’ for every negative thought that we become aware off.
- Stop complaining Choose to look at every annoyance, challenge, or difficulty as a chance to get a better idea of what you really want. Instead of complaining about what is, speak an affirmation of its opposite. Try this affirmation, ” Everything is going to be OK; it’s just a matter of time. I am safe in my world”.
- No Clear Goals. Until you know what you want, you can’t make a map of how to get there.A goal without a plan is just a wish. Clarify your goals in the key areas of your life: Health, Relationships, Spirituality, Career, Money, and Creativity (at least). By doing this, you will quickly overcome one of the significant personal growth barriers.
- Playing the ‘Blame Game’ Until you take full and total responsibility for every aspect of your life, your chances for personal growth success will be limited at best.
- “Your Ego”. This belief that we are our thoughts, that our ego needs always to be right, better-than, more successful than, more beautiful than, less afraid of, etc. etc. has caused more trouble in the world than probably anything else. Love who you really are – not your ego!
- Denial is the first red flag that shows you that you must change your attitude.All you have to do is observe your negative behaviour. Only then you’ll be able to make the first step towards personal growth.
- Lack of Discipline Learning to be a disciplined person must be one of the hardest things in life. But unless you learn to properly manage your time and attention, you’ll never be able to accomplish your goals. You can’t live in total chaos and reach personal growth. Discipline and personal growth are complementary.
- Lack of inner child / Self connection. We are so busy doing stuff for others; and sometimes we forget to pay attention to ourselves. It’s time to be a but selfish’ spend some me-time each day and focus on self-care. Chakra balancing/ Reiki healing & meditations are phenomenal in establishing this connection.
We pay so much attention to the destination and so little to the journey. If you want to improve yourself in the long term, you must set a clear road towards it by establishing short-term goals and focusing on each individually. There’s no other way.