Personal development is a great process and sometimes you don’t get the progress that you’d expect because of some barriers that are inside you, even though you can’t really acknowledge them. Whether it’s your negativity or lack of determination, there are many things that may stay in the way of your success. To take full responsibility for things which happen to us is a lot to ask. The tendency to look outside for reasons (or excuses) is tempting. Although there are clearly times when external forces can slow us down or throw us off track, the barriers to self-growth and personal success are generally found within us.
The sooner you identify your personal barriers and you get aware of them, the easier it’s going to be to fight them and to get the improvements you were always expecting.
Below are some of the most common barriers that slow down our self-growth:
- Your goals aren’t defined An important part of accomplishing success is establishing goals so that you know where you’re after in life, sort to speak. This doesn’t mean that everyone knows what they want and let’s not forget about the factors that block people from clearing their goals.
- Denial Others may have suggested that you need to change (maybe you’re too angry or stubborn) but you are not hearing it. You prefer living in your own world of fiction despite what people close to you (and even, perhaps the little voice inside your head) have said. Personal growth will not be possible if you think it is unnecessary for you to make changes.
- Ego/ Pride There’s nothing wrong with being proud, as in being proud of your accomplishments. However when someone has an inordinate opinion of his own importance and carries a sense of superiority over others, it will prevent him from keeping an open mind about change and growth.
- Not taking responsibility Repeatedly blaming others or circumstances for what happens in your life is a way of avoiding your own responsibility. To experience self-growth you have to be ready to take the heat. Blaming others can create the conflict you need to deflect the focus away from you and onto someone else.
- Focusing on what you don’t want Most of us experienced an emotional trauma (thinking that some didn’t is simply out of this world), which is why we’re going to try our best NOT to experience that trauma once again. Unfortunately for us, the mind focuses and is able to attract or create opportunities for them to happen. The stronger the emotion behind our focus, the faster we can expect the results/ the opportunities. Is it clear now why we should focus on what we want and not on what you’re trying to avoid?
- Self- Limiting beliefs All our beliefs are controlled in fact by our values. The best thing to do is to write down the things you treasure in life. The list may include anything, from activities and relationships to various things and feelings. You should write down around 10 things on the list. The exercise doesn’t stop here and you should also put them in order of most to least important. You now have your values list.
- Lack of motivation It is easy to say that you would like to do something (for example: exercise, learn a language or get better at being in a relationship) but until you understand why you want to do something you will likely not accomplish it. Being truly motivated creates a powerful force or drive that can propel you to achieve what you want. Many people just think they should want something and create a fantasy around the thought. Try answering this: What do you want that you really cannot live without?
- Lack of goals It is the old story: “If you don’t know where you are going, how are you going to get there?” To achieve the growth you need to know what you want and map out a course to get it. Many people resist creating and writing down goals often because they have simply not gotten into the habit. Start small and build your goal-setting skills.
- Lack of support If you surround yourself with negative/pessimistic people you are unlikely to achieve personal growth. If you do not have a good support system you should try to develop one. It is hard to go it alone. To achieve good and great things in your life you need the support of good and great people.
It’s time to decide what kind of person you wish to aspire to be or what goals you wish to accomplish takes clarity of mind, a willingness to look carefully and honestly at yourself, and the courage and commitment to make changes.
Let’s make that positive choice today!