The start of a new year often brings a flurry of activity, with many of us eager to set goals and make plans. We create lengthy to-do lists filled with external achievements—losing weight, advancing our careers, exploring new places. While these aspirations are valuable, it’s equally important to consider our inner landscape. This year, I encourage you to shift your attention from simply what you want to do to who you want to become. It’s about nurturing your inner self, developing qualities that resonate with your soul, and building a life of genuine fulfillment that stems from within.

Why Focus on “Being” Instead of Just “Doing”?
Think about it: you can achieve all your external goals and still feel empty if you haven’t nurtured your inner self. Focusing on “being” is about cultivating qualities like kindness, courage, patience, creativity, joy, or gratitude. These qualities become the foundation for everything you do, making your actions more meaningful and your life more enriching. It’s like building a strong inner compass that guides you, no matter what external challenges you face. For me, focusing on being more present and patient has made a huge difference in how I approach my work and relationships. It’s not about achieving perfection, but about constantly growing into a better version of myself.

The Benefits of Focusing on “Being”:
Shifting your focus from “doing” to “being” offers a wealth of benefits that can transform your life from the inside out:

• Increased Self-Awareness: By focusing on your inner qualities, you gain a deeper understanding of who you are, what you value, and what truly motivates you. This self-awareness empowers you to make conscious choices that align with your authentic self.
• Stronger Relationships: Cultivating qualities like empathy, kindness, and open communication can significantly strengthen your relationships with others. When you focus on being a supportive and compassionate friend, partner, or family member, you create deeper and more meaningful connections.
• Greater Fulfillment and Meaning: Chasing external achievements can often leave us feeling empty if we haven’t nurtured our inner selves. Focusing on “being” helps you find deeper meaning and purpose in your life, leading to a greater sense of fulfillment and contentment.
• Reduced Stress and Anxiety: When you prioritize inner peace and self-compassion, you’re better equipped to handle stress and navigate challenges. You develop a stronger sense of resilience and inner stability, which can significantly reduce anxiety and improve your overall well-being.
• More Authentic Living: Focusing on “being” encourages you to live in alignment with your true values and express your authentic self in all areas of your life. This leads to a greater sense of congruence and integrity, making you feel more grounded and centered.
• Improved Decision-Making: When you’re clear about who you want to be, it becomes easier to make decisions that align with your values and support your overall well-being. You’re less likely to be swayed by external pressures or fleeting desires.

Ideas to Create Your “To-Be” List:

Identify Your Core Values: Your core values are the fundamental beliefs that guide your behavior and decisions. They represent what’s most important to you in life. Identifying them is the first step in creating a “To-Be” list that truly resonates. How to identify them? Think about times when you felt most fulfilled, proud, or inspired. What values were present in those moments? You can also use online resources or value card exercises to help you identify your core values. Some common core values include:

• Honesty: Being truthful and authentic in your words and actions.
• Connection: Building meaningful relationships with others.
• Creativity: Expressing yourself through art, music, writing, or other forms of creative expression.
• Freedom: Having the autonomy to make your own choices and live your life on your own terms.
• Kindness: Showing compassion and empathy towards yourself and others.
• Growth: Continuously learning and evolving as a person.
• Contribution: Making a positive impact on the world.

Choose 2-3 “To-Be” Qualities: It’s tempting to want to change everything at once, but focusing on a few key qualities is more effective and sustainable. Choose qualities that align with your core values and that you genuinely want to cultivate. How to choose them? Reflect on areas of your life where you feel you could grow. What qualities would help you navigate challenges, build stronger relationships, or achieve your goals?
Examples:

• Courage: Taking risks, stepping outside your comfort zone, and facing your fears.
• Joy: Finding happiness and contentment in everyday moments, practicing gratitude, and cultivating a positive outlook.
• Patience: Practicing tolerance, understanding, and acceptance, both towards yourself and others.
• Resilience: Bouncing back from setbacks, learning from challenges, and maintaining a positive attitude in the face of adversity.
• Self-Compassion: Treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance, especially during difficult times.

Find Ways to Embody Those Qualities: This is where you translate your intentions into action. Think about concrete, specific actions you can take to express your chosen qualities in your daily life.
How to embody them? Break down each quality into smaller, actionable steps. Make them specific and measurable so you can track your progress. Examples:

• To cultivate kindness: Offer a compliment to a stranger, volunteer at a local charity, or simply practice speaking to yourself with more compassion.
• To cultivate creativity: Set aside 15 minutes each day for free writing, painting, playing music, or any other creative activity that you enjoy.
• To cultivate patience: Practice deep breathing exercises when you feel frustrated, actively listen to others without interrupting, or simply allow yourself extra time to complete tasks.

Reflect and Adjust: This is an ongoing process. Regularly check in with yourself to see how you’re doing.
How to reflect and adjust? Schedule regular check-ins (weekly, monthly, or quarterly) to review your progress. Ask yourself:

• Am I consistently embodying the qualities I chose?
• What’s working well?
• What challenges am I facing?
• What adjustments do I need to make?

Examples of “To-Be” Lists:
It can be helpful to see some examples to get your own creative juices flowing.
Here are a few “To-Be” lists ideas for Personal Growth Category:

To Be: More Present:

• Action: Practice mindful breathing for 5 minutes each morning.
• Action: Put away my phone during meals and conversations.

To Be: More Patient:

• Action: Take a deep breath and count to 10 when I feel frustrated.
• Action: Practice active listening without interrupting.

To Be: More Self-Compassionate:

• Action: Speak to myself with kindness and understanding, especially during setbacks.
• Action: Practice self-care activities that nourish my mind, body, and soul.
  

Challenges You Might Face (and How to Overcome Them):

• Getting Distracted by “Doing”: Our society often prioritizes external achievements over inner growth. It’s easy to get caught up in the endless cycle of “doing” and forget about “being.”
  Solution: Schedule time for activities that nourish your soul, just as you would schedule a meeting or appointment. This could include meditation, journaling, spending time in nature, or engaging in creative pursuits.
• Self-Criticism: Be kind to yourself! This is a journey, not a destination. You’re not going to be perfect at embodying your chosen qualities all the time.
  Solution: Practice self-compassion. When you slip up, acknowledge it without judgment and gently redirect your focus back to your intentions. Remember that progress, not perfection, is the goal.
• Not Knowing Where to Start: Feeling overwhelmed is a common obstacle.
  Solution: Start small. Choose one quality and one simple action you can take to embody it. As you gain momentum, you can gradually add more qualities and actions. Don’t be afraid to revisit your list and adjust it as you grow and evolve.

Affirmations to Support Your “To-Be” Journey:

• I am cultivating [chosen quality] in my life.
• I am becoming the best version of myself.
• I am worthy of joy, peace, and fulfillment.
• I embrace my authentic self with love and compassion.
• I am creating a life that aligns with my values.

It’s important to remember that focusing on “being” isn’t about becoming someone completely different. It’s about uncovering and nurturing the qualities that are already within you. Think of it as polishing a diamond—you’re not changing the core material, but you’re revealing its brilliance. This process is deeply personal and there’s no right or wrong way to do it. Some days you might feel incredibly connected to your chosen qualities, and other days you might feel like you’re taking a step back. That’s perfectly okay. The key is to approach yourself with kindness and compassion, celebrating every small step you take on this journey of inner growth. It’s also helpful to remember that your “to-be” list can evolve over time. As you grow and change, your priorities and desired qualities may also shift. Be open to this evolution and allow yourself to adapt your intentions as needed.

So, as you step into this new year, I encourage you to look beyond the long lists of things to do and take some time to connect with who you truly want to be.
This isn’t about abandoning your goals; it’s about approaching them from a different perspective. By prioritizing your “to-be” list, you’re building a strong foundation for a more meaningful and fulfilling year, no matter what external achievements come your way. I hope you’ll join me on this journey of inner growth.

Love and light,
Manali