How many times have you said something that just didn’t come out the way you wanted it to?

How many times have we said something that we really didn’t mean, but we were too frustrated to stop it from being said?

What’s more, some people have a fear of expressing themselves at all. They’re afraid to say something that might cost them a friendship. Or they bottle everything up tight and seize up at the mere thought of sharing their true emotions.

This can be a constant struggle for people. However, it is something that can be conquered. If you are struggling to express yourself to others, or you know of someone who struggles, then read on. This article will show you what you can do to open up with others.

Dangers of not being able to self express yourself:

1. If you have a fear of people, people will avoid you. It’s a vicious cycle. You avoid people because you fear that they will hurt you. People see your aloofness, and either think the worst (that you’re stuck up), or grant your desire and leave you alone. Then you wonder why it is that no one likes you. 

2. When you can’t open up to people, people will feel that you are unapproachable. You’ll have a hard time getting close to people when you bottle everything up inside. Your relationships will all be shallow.

3. Your inability to express yourself will haunt you in times of trouble. You’ll need help, you’ll want help, but you won’t seek it. You’ll hide. So, no one helps you. Then you grow resentful and angry.

4. Another danger is that of isolation. You build walls around your emotions and people instinctively leave you alone. That might be what you wanted at first, but your life will be barren, and empty. Life is relationships. The stronger your relationships the more joy you’ll have in life. No matter if it is with your mate, God, children, neighbours, co-workers, friends, relatives, or even yourself, you must learn to express yourself.

Ways of expressing yourself:

Finding out the best way for you to express yourself can be rewarding. You might find that you enjoy expressing yourself in a particular way, like painting, playing a sport, singing, drumming or even yelling into a pillow. If you don’t know which way works best for you, try some of the following suggestions.

Write about how you feel:
Writing can be a useful way to explore your feelings. Some people keep diaries or journals, while others just write down whatever comes into their head at a particular moment. You might want to write a story about what is happening in your life now or make up a story based on some past event in your life. Writing poetry works for some people, too.

Play a sport:
Playing sports lets you express yourself in a physical way. There are plenty of opportunities to yell or curse or feel elated when things go well. Team sports allow you to express yourself with others and use your mental and physical energy.

Draw or paint:
Even if you don’t think of yourself as an artist, drawing and painting are useful ways of expressing yourself. You might just want to experiment with abstract lines, sketches or colors.

When You’re Upset, Write A Letter:
If you’re furious at someone, then go ahead and write them a nasty letter. Just don’t give it to them. Sleep on it. The next morning, go back over the letter. You’ll find that your attitudes and perspective have shifted. I seriously doubt you’ll send the letter under those conditions.But more than that, sending someone a letter that is well thought out is a great idea when you’re trying to express yourself. Look, letters can’t be argued with, they can’t be interrupted, and you can’t derail the train of thought. In fact, even if the letter is negative, most people will read it all the way through.Sometimes a well worded letter will allow you to convey your feelings where a conversation would not.

Sing, play music or shout:
Singing along to your favorite songs or playing a musical instrument is another way of expressing yourself. Sing in the shower or in your car. If you play an instrument or sing regularly, you might want to start writing your own songs or music to express how you feel.

Dance:
Dance is a form of self-expression, and you don’t have to be a ballerina to do it. Put on some music at home or go out and dance as much as you like in whatever way you like.

Do Some Writing On Your Own:
Do a variety of writing. Start a novel. Write letters. Keep a journal or diary. Often, you’ll find that writing helps you to think your thoughts through. In the heat of an argument, you’ll often say what you don’t mean in a tone that creates more resentment. Writing will help you organize your thoughts. It’ll give you focus and direction.

Do A Lot Of Reading:
Reading will help you learn how other people express themselves. Pay attention to word usage, diction, flow, voice and tone. These will give you ideas on expressing yourself.

Don’t Fear People’s Judgment:
Social anxiety is not a disease. You can’t catch it from someone who has it. It is a spiritual state of mind that is the direct result of fear. There is really only one type of fear and that is the fear of the unknown. Don’t fear what other people think about you. Honestly, your imagination will create far worse scenarios than what most people will ever think.

To overcome your fear, try asking for their help. Try this, “I’m having a hard time expressing myself, and I thought maybe you could help me.”It also sets the stage to retract what you may say when you say it wrong. Since you’ve already warned them that you are struggling with expressing yourself, when you actually struggle with it, they’ll just shrug it off. It’s a great tool to overcoming your fear of other people’s judgment.

Let’s take a stand today that we will make that call to our loved ones and tell them what you really feel..share your feelings.Let’s make the most of the time we have in our lives..let’s live moment to moment:)